Excessive jokes, too elaborate plans, addiction to smartphones: small errors can wear friendships: this is how to recognize and prevent them, following the advice of experts in relationships and psychologists to build more authentic and lasting bonds
Cultivating authentic friendships is one of the greatest joys of life, but often, without even realizing it, we can adopt attitudes or habits that risk incrubing even the strongest ties. From too many jokes to the excessive use of the smartphone, here is an analysis of the most common errors according to experts.
Jokes and made fun of: when humor exceeds the limit
If there is one thing that everyone loves, it is laughing in company. However, even the most harmless of smiles can turn into a double -edged blade. Hannah Carmichael, friendship coach and Founder of Friendshift, explains:
In healthy relationships, we must feel free to be ourselves. But a culture based on sarcasm or incessant jokes can become toxic, preventing people from opening up for fear of being ridiculed.
It is not a question of eliminating irony, but of paying attention to the limits. The clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly underlines:
Learning to communicate with kindness requires practice, but the result is a more solid and trusted friendship.
Friendships and consumerism: the dangers of “perfect” sociability
Today the time spent with friends seems increasingly linked to experiences to be shown on social media: brunch, aperitifs and weekends out of town. But this trend can make friendship A stressful and expensive activity. Laura Forster, author of Friends in Commonwarns:
When each meeting must be memorable or “instagrammable”, you risk losing naturalness. Sharing simple moments, like a walk in the park or shopping at the market, can be equally precious.
Anahit Behroz, in his book BFFS: The Radical Potential of Female Friendshipspeaks of the value of daily friendships compared to those “cut” for specific occasions:
We could rediscover the pleasure of simplicity: cooking together, taking a walk through the vineyards or taking care of small commissions can strengthen the bond.
The weight of romantic love: because you don’t have to neglect friends
In our country, romanticism is often celebrated as the peak of relationships, but this can lead to neglecting friendships. Annabelle Knight, expert in relationships, warns:
Friends and partners need the same commitment. Balance relationships avoids creating addiction dynamics or imbalance.
According to the writer Oloni, dedicate Quality time to friends It is the key to keeping them in our life. Respect traditions, like a weekly coffee at the bar under the house or an evening phone call, can make a difference.
Not being the “savior”: listening is more important to solve
Who has never tried to help a friend in difficulty? However, offering solutions at all costs can suffocate a relationship. Psychologist Jane Halsall underlines:
Those who try to ‘save’ a friend risk feeling frustrated if their efforts are not welcomed, while those who receive help may feel judged or under pressure.
Dr. Adi Jaffe, an expert in addictions, proposes a different approach:
More than trying to solve the problems, accompanies your friend on the path. Being present as an emotional support is much more effective than imposing solutions.
When to say “no” becomes an act of love for oneself
The concept of “Making good impression” He can always say “yes” for fear of disappointing. But this attitude risks exhausting our energies, as Carmichael explains:
You don’t have to always be available to demonstrate your affection. Learning to say ‘no’ in a kind way is an important step towards more balanced relationships.
You can start with small steps, for example by refusing invitations that you don’t feel you want to accept, without guilt. It is important that your voice and your needs find space within friendship.
Be present, really: less smartphones and more attention
Who has never felt ignored by a friend lost to scroll Instagram? Elaine Kasket, author of Reset: Rethinking Your Digital World For A Happier Lifedefines this “phubbing” phenomenon, that is, the habit of giving priority to the smartphone compared to the person we have:
Losing visual contact during a conversation can be perceived as a gesture of disinterest.
Not only that. Use the phone to avoid difficult conversations or boredom moments deprives the relationship of opportunities to grow, concludes Kasket:
Put the phone away and face the moment. This is how authentic intimacy is built.
