“Not They taught us to talk about it, they did not explain to us how to live it, how to communicate it, how to respect it. Yet sex is there and it is everywhere, in desires, in relationships, in expectations, in the things we do even when they don’t convince us completely “.
In the last episode of the podcast “good luck”, co-produced by buyron and Greenme and written and directed by Margherita Filosa and Iris Gaeta, crucial issues such as sex education, body language and toxic masculinity are addressed.
Guests of the seventh episode, Dr. Antonella Bonaccorsi, gynecologist, and the actor Andrea Maestrelli, who face the various facets of sexuality, who still continues to be partially a taboo today.
The influence of pornography and the need for sexual education
The allusions to the sexual sphere are everywhere: on TV, on social media, in advertising. Yet still today our society has not learned to talk about it in a casual and adequate way.
“We are sexuality, because the man being, mankind is characterized by female and male gender, so in short, we are sexuality. – underlines Dr. Bonaccorsi – We are also the product of this. So the fact that there is still a taboo is still so serious, because we have gone through so much prejudice, a lot of history linked to this sexuality that however belongs a little even to the imagination, to that of our part. Precisely because it belongs to our underwear and gives us modesty, no? that personal embarrassment is even more social.
Today most of the boys are addressed to the world of porn to explore the world of sex, without really learning how to approach, without a true sex education
“It is not so much the porn itself for itself, it is as you look at it, that is, it is your critical ability in looking at porn, a 13 -year -old boy, 14 years old, even 12 or 11 (because it is now easy to end up on these sites without control by the parent) does not have the ability to discern. What kind of sexuality is learned through porn? In fact, an absolutely penetrative sexuality, vaginal penetrative, and incidentally, Many rejected many, perhaps in one or two I saw that the actor put the prophylactic, and this is another point that interests me so much, because the small kids who then approach each other, meanwhile think that sex is only the copula, that is, a penetrative, or vaginal or anal act, and without protection“.”
Finally, another typical element of porn is that man usually has a dominant rolo while the woman is dominated: a theme that also binds to that of consent.
It is not clear to today what the world is out there, right? That is, when we look out it seems all the deformity of something else, but if I could choose, clearly choose to be born in another era, probably in the 70s, to say in the 90s, 20 years. But one thing is good than these days, that there is more information. – comments the actor Andrea Maestrelli – If we think that until 96 sexual violence was punished as a crime towards moral and not towards the person, and to date we have tools that lead us to many bitch*you, but among these things there is a way of conveying beautiful messages. We use these tools that we have in the right sense and discover ourselves compared to sexuality, which is the same as 100 years, 200 years, 300 years before us. Nobody invented anything. From the mists of time no one invents anything anymore. Perhaps it is the only link that remains true compared to what we don’t even know. And this is beautiful.
Everyone can do their part to stop gender violence
In many cases, parents or teachers do not have the tools or have all too modesty to deal with the topic and this can also limit the fight against gender -based violence. This is where professionals come into play, who have the task of guiding, advising but also be supported in delicate or difficult situations.
In the battle against gender violence, each of us must make its contribution. Guys, this is an ethics. It is an ethics that I personally feel and I would like to transfer to anyone who understands me. Friends, acquaintances, passers -by, ok? And everyone can do something. This is the positive message. Can we do something? Yes, ok? And what? What can we do? What can I do? With my work I can stimulate consciousness, that identity consciousness, for example, female.
Fortunately, there are important resources for education and support, in particular of women but not only. Consultors are public and free services that also welcome minors and guarantee anonymity. However, there is a serious lack of information on their existence and their multiple functions, which go beyond assistance to the victims of violence. In addition, many hospitals have the “pink code”, a priority path of public health dedicated to those who have undergone violence and provide for a multidisciplinary team composed of doctors, paramedics, sexologists, psychologists and law enforcement.
The body says so much (if we are able to listen to it)
Many signs of discomfort or fear (on turn spy of violence suffered) can be intercepted by listening to and observing the body of others, as pointed out by Dr. Antonella Bonaccorsi:
“The body talks more and better than words because I can sidetrack with words I can simulate or disagree, the body no. I have to know how to look and you have to choose to listen exactly to look at it also means to observe. When I have a patient I observe it and clearly I ask questions and when I arrive at the gynecological questions I see how it moves, her reticence on certain topics, as it lowers the eyes and does not look at me, as it tends to protect it especially in the clinical phase of the clinical phase of the Visit, for example if it tends to close the legs, stiffens and begins to sweat: there is a whole language that makes me suspect something. “
That masculinity to overcome
Another fundamental theme addressed in the episode is that of a certain type of masculinity that still continues to be rooted in the contexts we frequent.
“In the culture in which we live, which is a somewhat dysfunctional culture, the masculinity that man must bring, machine, being a man means talking about a certain type of theme. In a certain way. In a certain type of way, behave in a certain way.” He highlights the director and co-author of the podcast Iris Gaeta.
“The questions I ask today is not the same questions that he could ask me five years ago. – – admits Andrea Maestrelli in this regard – But what changed? That sensitivity may also be there, but when at the moment when you ask different questions compared to something that for you are still stitches compared to life, trivially of the commonplaces that you can have, you don’t wonder why this thing wonders or because it is said. Because it is in normal. If one is asking the right questions, it is not said that there is a giant change, but something beautiful could happen to this thing. To date, for me to be a man is having the courage to welcome everything that is free, everything that has to do with freedom and takes courage anyway to discover.
Dysfunctional and male chauvinist culture has imposed the idea that man must be strong and behave in a certain way. However, in social contexts such as the changing rooms, you can feel uncomfortable in front of out of place or unwelcome dynamics, and it is essential to feel free to express your dissent. In recent years the language of men (not all unfortunately) has been slowly changing, thanks to the information that stimulates a different thought. Goliardic or “breech” language is often the result of non -knowledge.
The path to a freer and more conscious masculinity is not linear or without obstacles, but the important thing is that a crack has opened. Talking about these themes, questioning themselves, recognizing one’s limits and fragility does not mean losing something, but rather gaining space of freedom and awareness. And it is precisely in this tension, made of small daily changes, that the possibility of a different future is glimpsed, where men and women will no longer be forced to recite rigid and imposed roles, but they will finally be able to choose who to be.
Good luck to whom?
As in every episode, the closing question is the same: “Who would you say good luck today today?”
“I would tell myself a big good luck to have the courage not to stop at what I know to have the curiosity to go and find out what’s tomorrow with today’s experience” replied Andrea Maestrelli.
“I am a mother and therefore I think of my children who are young like you and therefore I think of them and therefore of all young people good luck but in the positive sense: be the protagonists of your life and be always attentive to sensitive reminders to help others, the different ones, those who do not do it”: Dr. Bonaccorsi concluded.
All the episodes of “Good luck” is available every Tuesday on all streaming platforms and on the social channels of Greenme and Byron Agency.
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