Stopping communications suddenly without explanation, the behavior called ghosting, hurts more than rejecting someone directly and clearly. This is demonstrated by a study led byUniversity of Milan Bicocca.
The researchers conducted two studies in particular: in the first, 46 volunteers interacted daily for 15 minutes in chat with an accomplice on predetermined topics for six days. On the fourth day, the accomplice stopped responding (ghosting), explicitly communicated the intention to end the interaction (refusal) or continued the conversation (control group).
Mixed model analyzes revealed that the ghosting and rejection had an impact on similar constructs, including emotions, basic psychological needs, perception of others and behavioral intentions, but in distinct ways: ghosting, in fact, on average elicited a slower and more prolonged negative response.
In the second experiment, 90 participants took part in the study, this time with a nine-day experimental design and including same-sex or opposite-sex accomplices; the results essentially replicated those of the first. Indeed, although gender did not emerge as a significant factor, differential reactions to ghosting and rejection persisted.
This unique approach made it possible to monitor the daily evolution of emotional distress and to highlight how the prolonged silence of ghosting produces more lasting effects than direct rejection.
Both phenomena elicit negative responses and threaten fundamental psychological needs – explains Alessia Telari, first author of the work – but ghosting keeps people trapped in a state of uncertainty which hinders their emotional closure
In other words, a clear and explicit refusal certainly causes strong emotional pain, but “closes the door”, leaving the person free to resign. A prolonged silence without explanations, however, leaves the unfortunate person “in limbo”, preventing them from rationalising, reacting and therefore, potentially, starting again.
Contrary to popular belief, the results highlight that communication matters, even when you decide to end a relationship considered unimportant – concludes Telari – Understanding how we react to ghosting can help us better deal with digital breakups and promote more aware and empathetic interactions online too
The work was published on Computers in Human Behavior.
Sources: University of Milan Bicocca / Computers in Human Behavior
