After a person has ghosted you, they may suddenly reappear without apologizing or providing explanations just because they need attention: this is “submarining.”
The “submarine” is a recent phenomenon in the dynamics of love relationships, which adds to the already vast vocabulary of modern dating. This term describes the behavior of a person who, after disappearing without explanation (through ghosting), suddenly reappears in the life of those he had abandoned.
The submariner, unlike those who practice ghosting, by his absence, but behaves as if nothing had happenedresuming communication as if time had never passed. This behavior can be extremely disorienting for those who suffer it, creating a sense of ambiguity and confusion.
According to experts, submarining is typical of people with narcissistic traits, not emotionally mature and with low empathic capacity. These are individuals who fear deep relationships and prefer to maintain superficial ties, exploiting others for personal confirmation or boredom. The submariner’s sudden reemergence is rarely motivated by a genuine desire to reconnect, but rather by a temporary need for attention or entertainment.
You shouldn’t give a second chance
The most problematic aspect of submarining is the psychological impact that it can have on those who suffer it. The individual often finds himself wondering about motivations behind the return of the submariner, fueling doubts and insecurities. This can generate anxiety, a sense of helplessness and frustration, as the affected person finds himself managing an ambiguous situation without having the answers necessary to fully understand it.
To defend yourself from this behavior, experts recommend maintaining a clear distance and avoid giving a second chance to the submariner. It is important to remember that who disappeared once without explanation could do it again.
Block the person or ignore the messages it can be a useful strategy to protect yourself emotionally. In some cases it may be useful to send a final message in which an explanation is required for disrespectful behavior, knowing that often there will not be a satisfactory response. Submarining is in fact one toxic dynamics and the only healthy solution is to walk away and not allow those who practice it to re-enter your life.
