Every year, on May 15th, International Family Day is celebrated, an event established in 1993 by the United Nations to draw attention to the central role of the family in society. Its origins are actually much further back and date back to 1989, when the UN General Assembly began a global reflection on family transformations and the challenges linked to parenting and child protection. A theme that, decades later, remains more relevant than ever.
The focus chosen for this year is “Families, inequalities and children’s well-being”, an invitation to look closely at the fragilities that affect the daily lives of millions of families. Economic instability, job and emotional precariousness, difficulties in reconciling life and work – especially for women – and growing social disparities increasingly put family balance to the test. Difficult separations, communication problems between partners, managing children after a breakup, tensions between parents and children or between different generations are much more widespread experiences than one imagines. Complex situations that do not always require the intervention of a court, but which can find space in listening and dialogue paths. In this scenario it becomes inevitable to ask: how can families be supported in times of crisis? How to deal with conflicts, misunderstandings and changes without necessarily leading to a legal clash?
This is precisely where family mediation comes into play: a tool still little known in Italy, but capable of offering concrete support to families in the most delicate moments. To better understand what it is and how it works, we interviewed Maria Grazia Scoglio, a social worker and family mediator, who is pursuing a master’s degree in parental coordination, who told us about the value of this path and its possible impact on the management of family conflicts.
In a society where family relationships are becoming increasingly complex, investing in dialogue, listening and conscious management of conflicts means investing in the well-being of future generations. – underlines Dr. Scoglio – The family can change shape, but it remains the most important place in which a person learns to feel welcomed, recognized and protected. And it is precisely for this reason that accompanying families in times of difficulty represents a fundamental social and educational responsibility today.
What is the role of the family mediator?
Family mediation today represents a very important tool in managing family conflicts, especially in cases of separation, divorce or communication difficulties between parents. The role of the family mediator is not to establish who is right or wrong, but to help people find a space for dialogue, encouraging healthier and more functional communication, especially in the interests of the children. Very often, when a couple enters into conflict, the risk is that anger and suffering take over their ability to collaborate as parents. Family mediation helps to separate couple conflict from parental responsibility, trying to build shared agreements and new relational balances. It is important to understand that family mediation does not necessarily serve to “bring a couple back together”, but to accompany people towards a more conscious management of the conflict, preventing the children from suffering the most emotional consequences.
How do you consult this figure? Through which channels?
Today you can turn to a family mediator through family consultancies, local services, private bodies, professional associations or specialized offices. Often lawyers, social workers and social and health services also guide families towards mediation paths, especially when the need to improve communication between parents emerges.
How does it differ from the role of social worker?
Very often the figure of the family mediator is confused with that of the social worker, but they are two different professions, although they both share an important attention towards the well-being of families and minors. The social worker works mainly in the field of social and socio-health services, dealing with support, protection, accompaniment and taking charge of situations of social, economic, educational or family fragility. He is a figure who works in networks with institutions, schools, courts and local services, often intervening in contexts of vulnerability or hardship. The family mediator, on the other hand, focuses his intervention on managing conflict and communication between family members, in particular between parents. It does not perform control or evaluation functions, but accompanies people in building a more balanced and collaborative dialogue. The two figures can be complementary and collaborate together in the interest of the family. In fact, I believe that today it is essential to invest more and more in the prevention of family conflict, because good management of relational dynamics can have a profound impact on the emotional well-being of children. When the conflict is managed in a healthy and conscious way, what should always remain central is better protected: the best interests of the minor. For this reason, it is essential that the best interests of the child remain central even during a separation. Protecting your children doesn’t mean pretending that conflict doesn’t exist, but learning to manage it in a healthier and more responsible way. Family mediation therefore represents a valuable prevention tool, because it helps adults not to transform the conflict into a war and to keep the parental function alive even after the end of the couple’s relationship.
