The term “eggshell parenting,” or “eggshell” parenting is becoming more and more widespread. Refers to a parenting style characterized by unstable and unpredictable emotional reactionswhich force their children to “walk on eggshells” to avoid conflicts or negative reactions.
This behavior creates an environment of constant tension in which children they live in fear of triggering outbursts of anger or mood swings by the parents. The American psychologist Kim Sage coined this term to describe families in which parents, often without realizing it, display emotionally unstable behaviors, generating a dynamic of hypervigilance in their children.
In this context, children learn to be extremely cautious, trying to adapt to parents’ emotionsi, who can quickly go from calm to angry. For example, a small accident like breaking a glass could trigger an excessive and disproportionate reactionthen followed by a rapid return to normality.
Children may become oversensitive and fail to develop a sense of emotional security
Children of “eggshell” parents grow up in an environment where the unpredictability of adult reactions makes it difficult to develop a sense of emotional security. These children end up becoming hypersensitive to the emotions of others and may develop problems such as anxiety, depression or low self-esteem. They are often heard responsible for the emotional well-being of parentsreversing the natural roles between adult and child, and carrying these difficulties into adulthood.
According to Sage, even parents who generally behave with love and affection can fall into this pattern if they alternate moments of insecurity and emotional instability. Their unpredictability makes them, in the eyes of their children, unreliable as reference figures. The family environment then becomes a place of tension rather than comfort, undermining the trust that children develop towards adults.
However, despite the negative consequences of this behavior, it does not mean that parents who adopt this style are “bad parents”. Often, their emotional reactions uncontrolled derive from past personal experienceslike childhood traumas, and manifest themselves unconsciously in their way of relating to their children.
Fortunately, it is possible to break this cycle of instability. The first step is recognize the presence of inappropriate behavior and accept that you need help. Through therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or the intervention of a therapist, parents can face their emotional wounds and learn to manage their emotions in a more stable way, thus improving relationships with their children.
@drkimsage Eggshell parenting and emotionally unpredictable, unsafe parenting often creates a lifetime of hypervigilance in us —and a deep belief that there’s no such thing as real safety in relationships.#eggshellparent #toxicparent #walkingoneggshells #emotionallyimmatureparents #narcissisticparent #drkimsage ♬ original sound – dr kim psychologist
