For every negative interaction, a happy couple has at least five positive interactions. This is the real secret to a healthy, balanced and lasting relationship. Word of psychologists John M. Gottman and Robert W. Levenson
A mathematical rule to understand if your couple is sailing in good waters or is at risk of failure, simple and direct: it is the 5:1. It means that if 1 criticism is balanced by at least 5 appreciations, the couple is destined for success. Word of psychologists John M. Gottman and Robert W. Levenson, who have dedicated their entire lives to the study of relationships.
After analyzing countless couples over the years, the two scholars realized that the secret to a happy and lasting love lies precisely in the balance between positive and negative attitudes, as long as there is a clear prevalence of the former over the latter. Based on this formula, they were able to predict with 90% accuracy which couples among those analyzed would stay together and which would not.
When the positive-to-negative ratio during conflict is 1 to 1 or less, the risk of rupture is very high. But what do the two psychologists mean by the expression “negative interactions“? They refer to anger, especially if defensive or expressed together with criticism and contempt.
And why 5:1? Because negativity has a great deal of emotional power, which is why it takes at least five positive interactions to overcome one negative one.
What are positive interactions instead? Here are the main ones according to the Gottman Institute:
SOURCE: Gottman
