Monk parakeets are loud, lively and very social. Yet, when they encounter an unknown specimen they don’t immediately launch into close interactions. First they observe, then they decide. A behavior that resembles what we feel when we find ourselves in a new environment and we need to understand if we can feel at ease.
The study
In research published on Biology Letterssome researchers brought together monk parakeets who already knew each other and others who were completely new to each other. They followed every detail: how close they got, how much they stood still next to each other, how willing they were to let themselves be touched or cared for.
A very clear behavior emerged: before trusting, monk parakeets practice a sort of “hovering”, a light approach. They remain close, without touching. They show up, but don’t ask for anything. It’s a simple way to understand if the other is calm, curious or, on the contrary, not very inclined to socialize. The individuals who then became friends were precisely those who spent the most time in this phase of mutual observation. Those who were not interested, however, kept a greater distance. No conflict, no forcing.
In the groups already formed, however, no caution was needed: those who already knew each other immediately entered into interaction without shyness or attempts at evaluation. Claire O’Connell, author of the study, said that this behavior struck her because it was identical to what she herself was experiencing: a move to a new city, few acquaintances, and the need to take her first social steps calmly.
What we can learn from monk parakeets
The monk parakeets’ strategy is not a curious detail: it is a form of protection. Before investing energy and time in a relationship, they make sure not to take risks. An instinctive choice, but extremely effective. It’s the same logic we use when we meet someone new: we get closer, but with a certain caution. We evaluate each other’s reactions. We ask ourselves if it makes us feel good, if it is respectful, if there is harmony. Their lesson is simple: you don’t need to do everything right away. Relationships – friendships, romantic or work – can also arise slowly. First we share the space, then, if we feel safe, we open up.
This approach reduces stress and allows us to understand who is in front of us. It’s a healthier way to handle first contacts, especially in a time when loneliness grows and finding new connections seems complicated. Monk parakeets do this naturally. And they remind us that trust doesn’t come from a twist, but from one small step at a time.
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