In all relationships, sooner or later, it happens to discuss. Just a comment out of place, a tone that doesn’t like it or a day started badly. Yet, sometimes, to prevent the situation from exploded is simpler than it seems.
According to the writer Rachel Bowie, the key lies in a simple phrase: “Always part of the assumption that the other acts in good faith”.
In his article for PurewowBowie says that this simple idea changed her way of managing moments of tension: instead of reacting instinct, try to stop and remember that she and the partner are on the same side. This allows her to see things from the perspective of the other and to face the conversation in a more calm way.
What science says about “giving the benefit of doubt”
It is not just a personal intuition. A recent study by Greater Good Science Center of the University of Berkeley analyzed the effects of “Give the benefit of doubt” in relationships.
The results are clear:
Bowie brings concrete examples: once he has forgotten to enroll his son to a summer field, realizing it only the night before. Instead of getting angry, her husband realized that it had been a period full of commitments. The next day they found a solution together.
The phrases that risk worsening the situation
If some words help to calm the waters, others make the opposite effect. The psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein explains that expressions such as “you are exaggerating”, “it is not a big problem” or “you are too sensitive” can be perceived as devaluers, even if said with good intentions.
Over time, this language undermines trust and makes it more difficult to communicate in a serene way.
How to put this strategy into practice
Here are some simple ways to apply the concept of “starting from good faith” in everyday life:
Choosing to believe in the good faith of the other does not mean pretending that the problems do not exist, but dealing with less tension and more collaboration. And, according to science, this approach is good for both the relationship and personal well -being.
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