In your free time we shake the smartphone, reply to the messages, we participate in some aperitifs every now and then. But how many of these people, if we stopped a moment to think about it, would they really know our life? How many would be able to recognize if we are passing a bad period, even without saying it?
A recent study published on Frontiers in Psychology He collected and analyzed almost twenty years of research to answer a very simple question: What role do friendships play in adult life? It is no small question, especially if we consider that today, even if we always live connected, many feel alone as never before.
And the most interesting figure arrives here: People with best mental well -being are those who can count on at least five close friends. Five. Not one, not two. Five people to whom you can turn to in difficult moments, but also with whom to share beautiful things, without having to explain too much.
But what is today a friend right?
The research, led by the group of Greek psychologists of the Panteion University of Athens, was very precise. It has identified some fundamental characteristics that distinguish a “true” friendship from a lighter attendance. It is not just about affection, but also of trust, availability, listening, intimacy. And above all reciprocity. In a healthy adult friendship, both people support themselves, tell each other, they accept themselves.
Science calls them “functions of friendship”. Among these are the complicity (i.e. the pleasure of being together), the emotional and practical supportthe feeling of feeling safethe certainty that the other will also be in difficult moments, the possibility of showing ourselves for what you are, without filters.
And the quality of these relationships was found closely linked to various aspects of psychological well -being: happiness, satisfaction of life, energy, motivation. But also resilience, or the ability to face difficult moments without collapsing.
It is not enough “to have friends”. What makes the difference is how we cultivate the relationshiphow long we dedicate to the other, if we are able to listen, if we really can say how we are. This is what, in the long run, supports well -being. And it does so in both directions: both those who receive help and those who offer it He benefits from it.
It is not rhetoric: it is a well -documented mechanism. The more we feel useful, the more we strengthen our identity and our self -esteem. The more we feel listened to, the more we can face anxiety, stress and also the sense of solitude, which can affect even in the midst of a thousand contacts.
An interesting point also concerns the perception of counting for someone. When we feel important in the eyes of a friend, the feeling of vitality, uniqueness, motivation increases. And these elements, according to the researchers, are Key factors for our mental balancetogether with the sense of belonging and the possibility of carrying out personal goals.
The analysis was conducted using the perma model, developed by the psychologist Martin Seligman, who divides well -being into five areas: positive emotions, involvement, relationships, meaning and results. Real friendships emerged, they touch all these areas. They help to feel happier, but also more motivated, more involved in life and more capable of facing the challenges. And they contribute, in a concrete way, to making us feel that our life makes sense.
Friendship and mental health: how much relationships really count
The authors of the study suggest not to underestimate the relational dimension when it comes to mental health. If on the one hand more spaces of dialogue and support are needed (especially in educational, working and therapeutic contexts), on the other We can also start from small gestures.
Cut on time to write to a friend who has not heard from a while. Propose an exit to those who seem quiest than usual. Telling with more sincerity as we feel, even if we fear of “disturbing”. And above all, learn to listen without judging or correct.
They are simple actions, within everyone’s reach. Yet, according to the researchers, have a concrete impact on our health. There are no complicated tools or apps to download. The presence, attention, authenticity are needed. So no, dozens of friends are needed, nor a frenetic social life. Enough A small circle of real peopleon which you can really count. According to science, people with a high level of well -being have five people they can count on; those with more precarious mental health have just over three
Not necessarily five “historical” or perfect friends, but five relationships where you feel seen, listened to, welcomed. Where you feel free to be yourself. And if reading these lines, a name came to your mind – or maybe someone who hasn’t been talking about for a while – maybe it’s time to make you feel.
