If someone had told me that my son left home to beat up someone his age, I wouldn’t have believed them. Too much of a good boy, he’s in the right circle, he does well at school, he has interests, we are a middle class family.
This is what almost all the parents who scroll through the news today and read about the arrest of those “respectable kids” from Monza who massacred a 22 year old for 50 euros probably think. “Mine never would have done thatAre you sure?
“Inhuman indifference“the magistrates ruled in these hours, to describe the way in which those five ogres acted. Five boys who grew up in a neighborhood of villas and buildings, of families of “good” people, professionals. Normal boys, most would say.
But where is normality? Who draws the line between those who massacre others because they lead a criminal life and those who massacre others out of boredom or for a few euros? We can no longer find that border, if we can no longer hide behind the barricade of social discomfort and deviance. If even the latest concept of “good guys”, youngsters and the first hair crumbles.
What happened in Milan
On the night of October 12, five boys stabbed, robbed and bludgeoned a 22-year-old Bocconi student near Corso Como in Milan, leaving him dying and most likely disabled for the rest of his life. There are three minors born in 2008 and two adults born in 2007.
According to the Milan Juvenile Prosecutor’s Office, the three minors show a marked propensity for physical violence, exercised in an unmotivated and instinctive way, almost as a form of entertainment, and immediately after attacking the victim they continued the evening in the clubs as if nothing had happened, demonstrating a total absence of empathy and “inhuman indifference” in the face of the young man’s suffering.
They did not perceive the gravity of what they had committed either immediately or in the following days, not even after having learned of the investigation against them; environmental interceptions at the police station reveal shocking phrases such as “that asshole is still in a coma” And “I’ll unplug him, at least he won’t talk”.
Reasons why the Prosecutor’s Office deemed placement in an educational community unsuitable and ordered prison time. The two adults, although formally without criminal records, had already been reported to the authorities for other episodes. They too appeared totally indifferent to what happened and, according to wiretaps, attempted to delete compromising chats from their cell phones and discussed the possibility of fleeing abroad. The group was identified thanks to the images of the surveillance cameras under the porticoes of Via Rosales and the testimony of two girls present on the scene, as well as comparison with photos of previous reports and social profiles.
…and what is happening to our young people
The cosmic void, one might say. An abyss, something truly scary. And it doesn’t just have to do with crime news: it’s perhaps that emotional disconnection that we see in many teenagers and young adults. Boys who don’t show wounds on their faces, but have a deep void inside, made up of silences and the inability to hear the other, to recognize the fragility of others as something to be protected and not crushed.
And they are not extreme cases of degraded suburbs or lives marked by absences or family violence. We are talking about young people who grow up in tidy homes, with acceptable grades, parents present (at least apparently) and having Sunday lunch together. Kids who blend into apparent normality. And perhaps this is precisely the point that hurts the most: violence does not always come from where we expect it.
Behind those looks that seem calm, there is often an uncontrolled impulsiveness, a need for dominance, an inability to manage frustrations. A sick pleasure in humiliating, in provoking, in seeing the other fall. It is a generation that sometimes confuses strength with aggression, popularity with power, lack of empathy with freedom. The smartphone with real life.
And the most painful step, the most difficult to admit, is that many parents don’t realize it. Or they are not ready to do it, they are not ready to face the problem. Recognizing a child who does harm means accepting that something, in the care, in the listening, in the guidance, did not work. It means dealing not only with him, but also with oneself. And not everyone is willing to do it, it’s better to stick your nose in your cell phone.
So we have mothers and fathers who repeat “my son is a good boy“, while that “good boy” ignores the consequences, follows the pack, uses force to assert himself. And when this emotional void meets the push of the group, the adrenaline and the absence of boundaries, violence explodes. On the street, in schools, in the nightlife, online.
This is why we cannot tell ourselves the reassuring tale that “they’re kids, it will pass”.
No, it doesn’t pass without an adult gaze that knows how to see before it happens. Who knows how to stop, accompany, educate with presence and not just with prohibitions. Who knows how to recognize fragility, even when it hides behind bravado. And yes, affective education in schools is also needed, not just words thrown at random against bullying.
Because a boy who is not empathetic, who does not see the border, who does not recognize life as sacred, is a boy who asks for help. Even if he doesn’t say it or isn’t able to understand it. It is we adults who have the duty to respond before it is too late.
